Atalist's Dungeon

Grieving is exhausting. I feel like I have been hit with a truck. What is worse is that sleep doesn't come to me in my hour of need. Nothing seems to except for condolences. Now it's not like I don't appreciate them, I do... It's just that sleep would be nice right about now. I can't help but wonder about grandma right now. Is she happy? Is she finally with grandpa? Is she without pain? These thoughts keep me up at night. Grieving makes it so, some how my brain doesn't function the way it normally does. Grieving sucks.

I have ambition, Anyone can see it. It is not a secret that I believe that I can do anything I retained my imagination and can create things in my mind that helps me reach to new heights. I am strong and determined and I need to remind myself from time to time I was raised by strong and determined family, the apple didn't fall far from the tree. I want to achieve much in my life.... I will succeed. 

My head and heart hurt, my loving nature has been shattered into pieces a loving soul was ripped from my breast. my memory of her is etched in my actions, mannerisms, and the tears that run down my cheeks. Loving someone with unyielding faith has its consequences. A hollowness settles into my chest and the heartache spreads to my extremities. I wish that she was as immortal as I believed her to be in my childhood years. She had such fire and zeal for the things she did. She was funny and her candor was educational to a younger me. in a lot of ways I have her to thank for my strength...  she raised strong women who influenced me to find my inner strength. I miss her and that will never go away. I sit here feeling my hollowness... I know it will fade but right now it feels intrinsic to my being I am...