Atalist's Dungeon

Your grief  Your grief is not mine.  Your grief does not overrule mine.  While we may be going through grief together over the same situation, your grief does not supersede what others are feeling. When I tell you how I am feeling, it is not a competition. It is not a who has it worse or who's grief is deserving of validation. Everyone is entitled to grieve.  like the rock thrown into the pond, the ripples of a loss echo out. Each makes the water tremor in a different way. The ripples move in their own way and are felt differently. Grief is the same. We inhabit the same space and yet our response is different. We handle it, we are affected by it differently. make no mistake everyone will feel it, but don't be a narcissist and tell me that your grief is more important or invalidates my own because it is yours. 

 I am dealing with a great deal of guilt these days.  With back to school and resuming the regular programming,  I am filled with anxiety, worry, and guilt. Guilt that I cannot be up with my parents to help them through this, anxiety, and the worry of what is going on up there and how I can possibly mitigate any of the trouble or difficult times. My mind runs on overdrive trying to remember appointments for mom, scheduling for kids, and the general mishmash of work. When I am up with my parents I am feeling guilt about not being with the kids as that time is precious and fleeting, when I am home I am feeling guilty because I also recognize that time with my mother is precious and finite as well. It's not enough to want to accomplish the impossible, I have to beat myself up over it too. My father keeps telling me that I am doing more than my fair share and that it is okay, but when I hear the quiver in his voice or the worry, I cannot help but feel panicked. I worry about ...