Atalist's Dungeon

This is going to be a bit of a rant so I do apologize. If you are not in for this then turn back now. Okay, still here? Here's the thing, I have been struggling as of late. I have been having a hard time with the illusion of friends who are not friends. I would like to call them "shitty friends". When Kolby and I split I didn't ask anyone to choose or push any agenda on people. I didn't feel like people needed to choose between him and I. We could be friends and I would put the effort in to meet them half way. Well, two years since the split and I am still dealing with the fallout. Some of the people I thought would be there have been but then there have been people who are trying to remain friends just to know what is going on with me. Almost like a spy or rather just to know things they hang out on my social media and report back to whomever as a method of gossip. The moment I decided to go on and leave him they immediately quit putting the work into our r...

Little starling, Your heart shines so bright, in the day and through time, I see you in my dreams at night you are no longer a dream a vision, asleep you lay beneath your mother's breast, my little dreamer you will stay.

I haven't posted in awhile.  my life sort of turned topsy turvy for awhile and then the most miraculous thing happened.  My life sorted itself out and I ended up here, with a happy life, a great partner and children.  I am not sure how that happened but it did and I have been sitting here contemplating my life and how I got here. There are certain things I feel like I need to say but haven't had the time. The topic "what happened with my marriage"  I avoided, the thing I didn't want to talk about because I didn't want to defame anyone or shed doubt on the person I was married to. Now let's be clear, that isn't what I am intending to do here. My hope is to explain myself to myself. I doubt anyone reads this any more but it is more of an exercise for me, so if there is still someone out there who reads this then this should be quite illuminating.  Alright here goes,  My marriage  It started out like everyone else's does. A boy thinks he l...