Atalist's Dungeon

It's such a fucked up thing to have to carry this weight around. I am sitting here thinking about all of those I have lost and those that I have yet to lose and it is one of those weights that we try to pretend is not going to happen, but it is. I might be a little sad right now but the anniversary of a friend's death has me waxing poetic/nostalgic of better times when I didn't realize this was the case. It has been a haunting revelation that my favourite people, will watch me go or vice versa. Nothing is absolute except death and taxes and yet I find myself troubled over it. Hug your loved ones people... send virtual hugs across the world to those you love. time is fleeting and it only gets faster. the legerity of the problem.

This is going to be fraught with spelling and issue but I seriously don't give a fuck. Here is how I am feeling. I go between thoughts of the world is fucking ending and how could I do this to my children to ... this is fine, everything is fine, whilst standing in a burning house. I contemplate how the fuck I am going to do this for the next several months because let's be honest. This will not be done in a month. This will not be done in a few months (September) we are going to be doing this for at least a year. Life will not be the same after this and nor should it be. We have lived through a modern-day plague.  We have survived and endured and all the while we learned in the process (hard to fathom I know) but at the same time, we have advanced. I cannot pretend that this isn't hard, nor that I am not struggling (double negative, fuck I hate doing that) but reality being what it is ... I am struggling. I am struggling to get through the minutia and the stuff with th...