Atalist's Dungeon

 Everything that is wrong with me relates to cancer.  I cannot push it out of my head but if something is wrong my first response is to think is this cancer? Admittedly I know all of the different things I could be before I go to the worst possible scenario, but I panic. When mom first got sick we thought she had strep throat... after all it had been going around. I ended up with bronchitis at that time and she thought I had given it to her. We both laughed at that one and I urged her to go to the doctor. I don't want to be like that where I wait to the last possible second to go only to find out the worst, but I don't want to be running there for every problem either. I ended up with a major nasal issue to the point where I had an open wound on the inside of my nose. I went to the doctor and talked about it, but it never fully healed. I then spoke with my doctor this week and their response was allergies... even though I had post nasal drip, I felt like my nasal passage was c...

 I have been trying to focus on the happy moments rather than the negative moments.  There was a weekend where I was up at the island and I looked at Doug while driving the boat and I found it. My smile was there and it was genuine. This morning even after losing my 25 year old cousin to an overdose I was driving into work and a song came on the radio and there it was again, my smile. It's these moments that find me, moments that make me believe that the world has light among all of the terrible dark things. This morning my little little boy climbed into our bed super early, when my alarm went off I forgot that he had done that but it was dark and quiet. I found these little hands and they wrapped around me and all I could do was smile and take in that sweet little moment. He won't be little forever and these moments of snuggles are fleeting. I am happy.  Through all of the dark and stormy parts to this world there are clear skies and smiles. Yin and yang, good with bad. ...