Atalist's Dungeon

 3 years of feelings, of joys and triumphs you have missed.  3 years of laughs, of plans, and of trips. We would have wanted to share the experiences with you, and yet you marched out into the great beyond, setting a path for all of us to follow one day. Mom, you were a trailblazer in that regard. The hole you left in our lives is not smaller but somehow we have grown around it. We keep space for you but we are growing and changing everyday.  Things I wish I could tell you: - I turned 40. You were amazed when I was turning 37 and somehow 3 years went by and now I am 40.  - Grayson and Sterling have grown and are little dudes now with all of the humour and ridiculousness that they seem to muster. You would be in stitches for the things they say.  - Sophia has two more years and then she is off to post-secondary. How they hell did that happen so quickly. Your Diva misses you.  - Dad is going on a trip with us and has helped us significantly. You would not app...

 It's the little moments you hang onto when you lose a parent. The innocuous ones that no one else was around for that linger. Mom has been gone for almost 3 years (where the hell did that time go?) and I was feeling chased by a memory today. Grayson's birthday is today and we went out for a special breakfast with what was supposed to be the whole family, but daddy was busy at work and could not join us. I was driving the kids to school in their chocolate comas and as I was pulling up to Sophia's school, a song came on I haven't heard in years. I was instantly back in mom's silver caravan driving back from Belleville after a successful back to school shop. The sun was starting to set and she had put on a different radio station and we were listening to this song... She was singing along and so was I in the front while Carly was looking out the window. I told mom that I really liked the song and she smiled and turned it up. it was such a happy moment, and when I felt...

 I have been absent. It has been due in part to life getting busy. Busy with the kids, with jobs, and with living. But that doesn't change the fact that I have stories to tell, well not necessarily stories, but perceptions and observations to unfold for me and share with a couple of people who might feel the same.  My life has been upside down lately. Over the last few years, we have seen a lot of change and loss. But we have also evolved with the good too. The children are wonderful, growing into amazing and unique human beings and that is a wonderful thing to bear witness to. We have been spending time with our people and just generally loving life.  However, that love of life doesn't just come with one emotion, but all of them. Autumn is usually a transitional time where things go back to sleep and return to the earth to wait until a spring awakening. It is also a time for reflection and change, and well, our fall was all about that. I had moved into a new position (no...