Atalist's Dungeon

Kiss me like you love me, thrill me like you can. hold me like no other, feel my heart through the palms of your hands. You touch me like no other, you run my heart through the flames, all i can feel is heat Its the power that you tame. Your soft lips stir in me, The longing of a lover's touch Your tender moments break me, these are the moments that make my blood rush. I feel you like no other, We perfectly entwine, body, mind, spirit. Forever mine, forever thine.

you choke me with your snobbery. Its not enough that I am a lovely soul or to be intellegent. No one ever compares to you. Narcisists look like children with mirrors compared to you. You enrage me. Fire burns in me for you and your words. It is as though you have thrown the gauntlet down. I accept your challenge sir, Prepare for surprises... I am full of them.

I find you. I hunted and sought you out from the mass. didn't know what I was searching for at the time, just knew that I was meant to find something or someone. I searched for years, unknowingly you were only a stones throw away. I found intrinsic value in you.

sexual games and enticing endeavors. All the things that lure you. The intimacy and adoration, all the reasons you would have to want it. Its the beauty and the agony of desire. Forms coming together as if destined. Touching each curvature, becoming even more enthralled by the rhythm, the pace. breathing together to finality. Conclusion. Slowing of tongues and of hearts. It's in this stillness you meet the real person. Stripped to their core. Soul meets soul.

Miss me like I miss you. For nothing in this verse can keep me from caring. I wish nothing but joy for you. You are my partner in crime and the bitter end. No matter what you will always be linked to me. You are not necessarily the shoulder I cry on, but the person I turn to seek confirmation. The person who will tell it to me straight and care. When I thought life ended you didn't tell me that it will get better, you asked me where I was and what I wanted to do about my life now. You are the person who has known me the longest and will travel this life with me. You are my family and when we are together, you make me laugh. We have millions of stories and experiences together, from the "bumblies" to the slide incident, we will always laugh and cherish the stupid mundane things we did when we were young. To aunt kathy dying my hair and it going horribly awry, Or to the moments where we both sat in horror on the bus as mom drove the riding lawnmower down the road in her fl...

Timeless, I listen to the melody and it calms me looking outside I see the twinkle of the stars. I lose myself in my solidarity. Wishing that the city wasn't so loud. To be back in an area where they stillness rocked my very being. I slept and dreamt under the vast starry sky and felt safe. The wilderness was my playground. Running barefoot through the trees. Over hilltop and rock I ran. Until I made it to the water. Then I swam. Breathing in time, I made it to my destination only to sleep on the dock. My Island, My sanctuary. From birth this has been my home. Surrounded by the sounds of the water and wildlife. Listening to the loon reach out in song to find her mate. The gentle swaying melody of the trees lulls me to sleep. Here I slip into sacred slumber until the sun rises. For tomorrow is another day that I can be free.

pour me out onto a page and let the words that come define me. What words could you use to describe me? I pose the question with curiosity in my heart. I long to know how others see me. I see myself as someone who dreams too much. Someone who lives in the confines of her head. I dream of water and of nature. The weightlessness of it, the strength I find in its depths. How things were intended aren't always the way they are. So i wonder and dream more about society at large. I understand that I am apart of it, but how?

Oh beautiful dream, oh violent ruse... I wish and think that I don't want to wake. Morning comes too early and I am comfortable in the dark. I am enveloped in it. I want to stay and be where I am. No one wake me for this is bliss.

Lovely little vixen, Sweet little temptress. Dazzle me with your words. Make me laugh and smile. taunt me with your vivacious way. Your daunting trickery knows no bounds. pull on your seductive strings. Young little seductress. brilliant is the way you manipulate me. you move with such vigor breath escapes me at the sight of you. Feeling you beneath me I quiver. beautiful little lover, poised in such a sexual rage.

Pretty little girls, pretty little liars, we set our hearts aflame. We dress up and we play with heart strings, with minds... it is part of our game No squandring our looks, innocent little crooks, we discard our shame. Pretty little girls, pretty little liars we will set your hearts aflame.

I have learned a great many things, but I feel so much more. It isn't enough that I learn that snow falls or that trees sway in the wind, I want to witness and feel the events unfold. To be part of the history or dream it into existence. It seems so cold and dreary outside. The snow is falling and I have already been outside twice to touch flakes to my lips. best to make a good day out of a dreary one. Grey with trees barren, they take on a new sinister look. Yet all I can see are the branches I want to climb. It is all about perspective and I want to see the world in colour, not black and white. I want to dream and believe that the best can happen... Even when the worst does.

Here I go, New beginnings and a smile on my face. First day of lily white. A day to think back to the first time I did this. How exciting it all was and now is. I take the first step and move forward. Think, breathe and smile. This is a new adventure and a new chapter. Smile and say hi as I introduce myself to the foreign body. This is where I am supposed to be, This is my new home. Breathe it in slowly. Lift my head and think about the doubts others had. I feel proud because I didn't listen. I took a leap of faith and landed it cleanly. I fit here!

you make my world freeze. Its not just a fairy tale. It is a reality I never thought i would have. To have someone so caring and loving. I want nothing more than to make you happy. I feel like a stupid girl thinking that I couldn't have this. This is nothing like the movies, This is how it should be. You still my heart and calm me. You make me smile when I feel that feat is impossible. When I am in my darkest place, there you are with a flash light calling me a weirdo for standing in the dark. You are the one who holds my hand through the scary parts, and are there to wipe away my tears when I am sad. You hold me and tell me that it will be ok. I love to hear you speak. your words always surprise me. You teach me more about love that I didn't know about. I am good at ruining surprises and yet you surprise me all the time. you make me smile all the time. Even when we are just sitting on the couch watching a movie, you make me fall in love with you over and over again. You challe...

I dream of you, to look into your beautiful eyes and know you are mine. Lovely and dreamy. Watch you as you gaze at me in awe. those eyes and that smile. I am smitten. I dream and you are warm. I wake up and you are not here. Rude awakening. I breathe and realize that you will come eventually. Today is not the day... but some day we will expect you. You will enter our lives and nothing will ever be the same.

Its late and i should be sleeping. but your thought alone wakes me from my dreams. I cannot sleep because you haunt me. With every fiber of my being I wish you were here. I awake to an empty bed and a my head full of thoughts. I choke back tears and I think of you. Missing you is difficult. I endure because I am strong but there are moments were I am allowed a little frailty. I tell myself this is what you want. you are searching and dreaming and I would ask for nothing more than to see you happy. Yet, here I sit alone on my cold bed. Wondering if you are awake too with thoughts of me? I wonder if we are really that perfect symmetry. Wondering if we are a match that everyone else saw coming. I hope for your sake i am not haunting you as your are me. I hope that you sleep peaceful my dear and that you enjoy this adventure. Nothing gives me more joy then to know that you are happy. I lay back down and rest my head on my pillow. Draped over my pillow is your shirt, it smells of you and he...

My mind has been vacant... for sometime I have let myself run on autopilot. Jump, smile... laugh. All things I can do without thought. But today of all days I am thinking. I am feeling everything. Every emotion in my head and heart. Karma has a funny way of opening ones eyes. I see today what a year can do. More importantly I can see what direction I have taken. i will never go back to being that person i was. I am who i am. A creation of my own right. With that I carry all the weight of my world. Soon I join it with another. until that time... I will shift in to drive and take my life in a new direction Get ready because this will be big.

The many things I love, running through the rain, the droplets hitting my skin. The lightning turning the dark sky to daylight in an instant. The sounds of two people breathing hard, heavy footsteps and heavy hearts. Laughter mixed in with the sound of the storm. All these things i adore. The quiet moments, where two hearts beating is the loudest sound. The breeze rolls in through the open window, awaking the young lovers. The solace of each others company while the world lay sleeping. The beautiful angry tears streaming down a lovely face. The warmth of an embrace. All these things I cherish. A kiss and a promise, of hearts being as one. The moments where saying I love you pales in comparison to how you really feel. Feeling every bit of excitement build when visiting the one you love. Knowing that they feel the same way. All the reasons I adore you!

I love you when you aren't looking. The moments you do not see. a smile here, perfect stillness there. Moments captured when you are unaware. I hold them close to my heart. It's you, completely on your own. the beautiful moment when you look at me. When we smile and are just together. When we drive places, the conversations you are focused on, The look of intent on your face. The times I am being mischievous and you are trying to keep me contained. That sinister smile that you get that says oh you don't want to know what I am thinking, drives me wild. Hunny it is you. The un-diluted, raw you. It took me awhile to see, but now that I do I am absolutely smitten. I am in love with the moments in between.

It is late. I should be resting and yet, I think about wandering. To go outside and see the moon in her glory. To take a walk amongst the nocturnal children. What joy it would bring me to feel the dirt and stone beneath my bare feet. To feel the leaves and tree branches around me.... To spin and have no one watching me Just to be free from the scrutiny of human eyes. To dwell amongst the free spirited wilderness and know that I am alone. breathe a slow deep breath in and feel the coolness of it. let my lungs expand once more and take in the succulent smell of green grass and dew. This is where I wish to think. To gain perfect clarity and in the process, center myself. regain what was lost. My balance.

I rejoice, for persephone has returned. My universe is righted again with sweet scents wafting through my window. The cool night calls to me. i smell the lush dewy grass. The night is alive with rebirth. It is my season. The water calls to me. The fish, the wake, the current. It all beckons me to the lakes, streams and rivers. I quake with the thought of losing myself in weightlessness. This is my time. Where I can run outside under a pale moonlight sky and see the stars. I dream such vivid dreams now. I feel reborn with persephone herself. I come alive again.

My best friend, I never thought I could have a love like this. Never dreamed it existed. I dreamed of my knight in shining armor. Faceless in his beauty, He pales in comparison to you. I look at the pictures of us together and I cry. Why couldn't I have seen this before. You made me light up, you still do. I breathe and I feel you here. you are miles away and yet I feel you. You never leave me. My thoughts are constant and true of my feelings for you. Its this beautiful place. A majestic field with sun lighting up a perfect silhouette of tall grass and flowers, trees waving in the breeze and the butterflies and birds gracing the skies. you are my happiest moments and in my happiest spaces. You make me believe that anything is possible. We can live in the dream and be the dream. I look up and see the rain, and I smile. nothing but dark clouds and yet i see such beauty in the silver lining. you show me nothing but love and positivity. There are moments where I am terrified and yet y...

I hold you in my heart, a tiny space and place in mind... You shift your weight and grow. My heart grows with you. My tiny seed, my little need. you stir in me that longing to touch you. To know that you love me too.

you rip me apart, tear me limb from limb you play with my heart. left in my vacant chest, dormant and void. you push it, jab it and it beats reluctantly. you rip it from its nestled space. tearing it to pieces. Its not difficult, its been torn apart before. you pull out my stomach, opening it to find dead butterflies. They, long dead, haven't fluttered in a long time. you tear away my lungs. Breathing will never be easy again. You hollow me. I am the nothingness you said I am, and yet, I still am something. you play with whats left. You rip off my ears, no longer will they hear the words you used to say : I Love you. You continue to play with my dormant figure and finally you realize, you killed me. You destroyed me and in the process destroyed yourself. All that remains is a hollowed out you.

I hang onto the thought of forever. It gets me through the day. I dream of the day it will be official and the life after. I hope and believe it will be no different. Except waking up in our universe, our collateral space. I seek the moments after the celebration. the moments of explicit collaboration. Where sole focus and purpose are directed at our swirling chaos. I breathe and seek the moments where you make me lose track of time. Where our melody slows with the quickened pace around us. I long to lose myself here and live in the in-between with you.

The sun sets down, the birds silence their song. It is the nightingales that now will coo the world with their sweet lullabies. Painted across the sky are all the colors of the worldly palette. hues that give vibrancy to the night coming. An explosion of magenta, violet and sienna wrap the sky. As if Da Vinci painted it himself. The world settles in, ready for slumber. Where the nocturnal ones lurk for their prey, and the crickets and frogs sing. Symphonies Capella. Where simple people drift off to sleep, while the adventuresome dream of the color and life in those final moments before dusk.

I am terrified, I think I love you more than you love me. To feel like this is wonderous and terrifying. I am so into you its exhausting. your pulse, your connection, your spark... unlike anything I have ever felt. unreal and altruistic pursuits. You make me want to climb new heights and jump from them to see if I can fly. You are a very dangerous and exhilarating. I never understood how much you got me. now I know. I am stunned. I sit here and giggle for no reason but to feel my smile. Your face echos my sentiment. be still my racing heart. You have vexed me.

sing me a song, make me move. Let me feel the rhythm. Shift and set the pace. let my hips direct your symphony. your fingers slip into my hair. Oh bliss. Teach me something new if you can. Allow me to sway with the melody. be deliberate and whisper to me. I push you pull. We work as a team ... Sound explodes out of us. We are chorus. forceful with our sound. We reverberate through... Until it is once again silent. peace.

I stare at my hands. These hands that toil day in and out. These tiny little hands that hold a heart so precious, that if I were to drop it, it would end me. I think about all the things I have done with them. Taken and given care, loved and worked. I think about the things I am going to do. To wear a ring, to hold my child to walk hand in hand with my lover. All the things I am ready to do. I stare at my hands and all I want to do is hold yours. My tiny little hands match yours. They fit together. Two sets of tiny little hands to walk the long road of life.

I don't check up on you. You may think I do but I don't. I haven't the time. You said your peace and I said mine. What more could I possibly want to know? We did damage to each other. But not the damage we thought. You showed me that what I felt wasn't really there. It was different. you proved to me that people sometimes don't change, and that is okay. We were not till the bitter end. We were just for the end of that chapter in our lives.

Its late or early depending on your perspective. I sit here and wait for you. It feels like it has been forever since I have been near you. To listen to your heart thrum and hear our melodic hearts beating in tune. I ache and feel the bitter cold creep in. Cannot get warm and cannot feel you here. My dreams carry me only so far into fantasy then I awake in anger. Angry at the very tempting and taunting thoughts of your presence. upset that they are just fiction. Oh dreams, for once come true and bring me peace from my illusions. help me to know that very soon they will be reality. Bring my loving angel back to me.

A little piece here a little piece there, There are moments where i give more of myself to you. A little touch here a little touch there. There are moments where I am confounded by our chemistry. A little kiss here and a little kiss there. There are moments where I am awe struck by you. A little love here a little love there. I have forgotten past loves, there is only you.

So here is where I hear. The words I now see were evident. Everyone knew and I did not. Why is it so obvious to everyone else Why couldn't I have figured it out earlier. I think it is the anticipation of a good thing. We had to have the build up like a good romantic comedy! Its the way good things start. The way things are meant to be. If they are lasting they will start right. We have started it right. This love is here to last.

Here she sits. Pleasantly perched. By moonlight she calms herself. Underneath a balcony of lush green, she peers through to see stars. The night is clear. Unlike the previous nights she relaxes. Her wings flit and twitch with anticipation. She then leaps off the limb down down down to the floor of the forest. She catches herself and continues on into the dark. She is alight with the intrigue the dark brings. So much to investigate, So much to let free in her dreary soul.

I will not be censored say what needs to be said. release it from my insides to greet the world I will not let you shut me down. Get it out of my head. it touches you, harms, loves, reverberates through you. My words have meaning to me and are left for interpretation. I begin with a thought and lose myself in prose. I will never let someone steal my words. It builds in me a sense of ownership, a sense of pride. Eloquent and verbally juxtaposed. My words matter.

Fire in my belly and a cry on my lips. Its this exhilaration. breathe in me this rush. this fire, this spark.

You pathetic man. Its not enough that you refused to speak, its more that you didn't have the balls to end things. When I did you got what you wanted. You wanted to be a martyr, to say to the world this shitty thing happened to me. Well you did it to yourself. I don't feel sorry for you. I find you sad. For once I am actually happy. I can actually say that I have already moved on. This doesn't hurt me. I am a strong woman. You at least showed me that with your ridiculous behavior. The thing I learned from you was tolerance. When I am with him I am happy. When I was with you i was not. Think about that when you are with her and try not to make the same mistake, this mistake you have made time and time again. Don't let a good thing slip between your fingers... you deserve to be happy... you just don't deserve me.

My insides hurt, I am laughing on the outside and crying on the inside. Its a tormented, twisted reality. I don't know how things progressed here or what to do with it? I am at a loss. Another year older and still no absolution. Sadness creeps in and yet I sit ... unable to move or think. Dig me out of the precipice I am in. tears stream forth and leave me feeling a familiar ache. Love lost is a misappropriation of a wanton heart. Fill my solace with the contentment that it is better this way. changes will come and Everyone will be better for it.

You don't see, the effect you have on me. Or maybe you do, you just keep it to yourself. Your own little secret. its a little nerve wracking that you are so natural. So at ease with me. Its a beautiful thing... And yet there are things you try to change. Do not try to change me or you will find you will be in the fight of your life. I am not changing for anyone. I am me. Accept me or don't. Your choice, your call

You try my patience with your words. your actions are selfish. It is always about you. you fight, cut and tear all I can do is laugh. Your temper tantrum has no effect on me. If that is how you want things to be then so be it.

Its a terrifying thing when you feel love for someone. I feel it and see it. It is a tangible thing. Five senses open up in a new way. Missing you is the hardest part. Loving you, now that is just easy!

the choral voices speak and sing. They chant and chime. Their voices excite my inner peace. The melody soothes me. Encompassing me in music. Every song has purpose and feeling. Attach with it the beat of memory. for every one hits hard with emotion. Cause me to stir and wake. To pause and feel it flow through me. To define myself in the moment of the sound. for there is a song out there for every mood, every occasion ... for every impulse... I implore and encourage you to explore and find these occasions and moments, To search high and low for the song that defines your core.

Beautiful solace in thy company. Hearts embrace within thy breast in empathy. Words cannot express how I miss thee. Teaming in thine heart shall live our revelry. Longing to hear the sweet angels that carry thy voice. Down from earth to beg such a choice. Breathe in thy heart and restore thy temperance For purpose and direction are lost in thy stance. Cause thy sex to stir and wake anew Lift thy spirit beloved come back for thy heart is true.

Lose it. Give up the ghost and set it free. The anger and resentment. Let it all go. I will let it all lose to run wild... it will devour you and your supporters. Its not a difficult task for vengeance. I hug you not to hug you, but to find the spot where I can place my dagger. Its a funny thing to have all this hatred. All this contempt and feel empty and hollow when it leaves you This force has awoken in me. It wishes nothing more than to purge and fixate itself on you. You can run but you do not have the endurance my resolve does. I will torment and bewitch you in to believing you are safe with me. Dream sweetly in the night to not notice I lurk in the shadows with a pillow. Death will not come swiftly for you. For you shall see. The monster you have created in me.

She washes his scent off her. Its been a long time and she needs to come clean. So many horrible scratches and scrapes. Too much has been done and far too much blood has been shed. Vacant is her expression as she sits there in her tub of filth. She is lily white again and yet she can still feel the dirt under her fingernails. That unkempt and unclean feeling. Stained with the sins of her past. Her perfect skin is etched with memory of dirty deeds. She listens to the silence. It comforts her, for within these walls she knows the sins they keep. The horrors they would speak if they could bare them. As she sits she moves, as she moves she sinks. As she sinks she dreams. Dreams of the wrongs she could right and of the things she could mend. The air seeps from her breast and she softens. Her resolve and her composure so delicately entwined with her being displace. For a second she is gone, and then she lifts her head. She brings herself from the waters. Reborn and revoking the sense to give...

I am a hard person to love. I don't make it easy. nothing ever worth while is easy. I enjoy the fact that i can be challenging. Sometimes I feel guilty that I don't just open up that life has thrown me so many curveballs that I am weary. Trust is an issue. I have always been concerned about giving my heart away. So many people have broken it. Part of me wondered if there would be anything left to give anyone. If all I had left was just shards of what I had. But there is. I have given my heart again. Its strange and surprising. I never expected this. I am afraid. So many times I hide and pull back. Its because showing all this is ultimately scary for me. However beyond that, here I am willing to make a go of it. So don't be surprised if I look shy, Don't be surprised if I seem closed off... Its just me getting there... I am afraid, help me open up... help me see that you are the one I am meant to be with. Remind me that I will get there and be patient with me. The best ...

The things one would do to find adoration. I don't blame them. It is what everyone aims for. Someone to love and to cherish them. I want that. I am no fool and yet I am a love fool. Seeing is believing and I definitely believe in it

For once I see. I am fucking everything up I am making a huge mess. its not that I want this. Its that it just sort of happens. My luck I know. But for once I finally see where I am supposed to be going... what I am supposed to be doing. Let me end the havoc I have been causing Time for a lull in the chaos bubble I have been living in. That is right... look at me go... Slowing it down and doing what is right.

Build me a world, a world of magic and intrigue. A place where I can be safe. In this world let the leaves shimmer and the darkness light up the night. Find me here and keep me safe. Restore in me my tranquility. Let the world be free from entanglement. Show me true beauty. Let me see, what this life is really meant to be.

I would rather rip my tongue from my mouth, than say I love you. I would rather scratch my eyes from their sockets, than look at you with that lofty in love gaze. Even though I do and I want to. I would rather play with mice than admit how I feel. Its easier to do unfathomable than the heart wrenching. And yet... All I want to do is tell you how I feel Show you in the many ways I can. I adore you and its ridiculous... Its ridiculous how much I am conflicted I do not want to tell you these things. I want to run and hide.

I don't want to admit that I love you. Its that scary new feeling that I just can't handle. Its terrifying to open up again. Yet, its the very thing that I want. I reach out for you and pull back. Its like I am swimming but for that second I start to sink. You pull me from the lake. I was drowning all this time and you have saved me. Its too much to feel that you are my prince charming. Its unrealistic. And yet its all I want is to see you swoop in and save me. You keep my heart beating, so much so it feels like a jackhammer in my chest. I envision things that I shouldn't. I pull away because this is frightening. you may very well be it. I am not sure if you are ready for it , nor I. Can you even comprehend what this would mean. The end of the world as we know it and the Dawn of a new world. A new way of thinking and life. All of this makes me want to run for the hills. The last time I opened myself up to that possiblity, I was hurt. I almost didn't make it back! All of...

You are the hunter and I am your prey. You corner me and I feel threatened. My response is to try to run or fight. You should know that I won't react well. I am not a person to be confined. You have my will to contend with. It will not be an easy battle. I am not a cuddly fiend or a sycophantic woman. Chase me and I will run faster than you can imagine. You will not catch me sir, for I am already gone.

It's Unfair that I promised, I should have thought first. You told me not to dream, I know now that it was surely the worst. Anger shakes the unwavering hand. Tears push forth, Damn the one who did it, Damn the bastard.

I tremble with happiness, and neglect change. I wither in ignorance Damn the winter. Earthquakes rattle my brain, and yet I think clearly. How defined is causality. The destructive force that balances my chaos.

I am sad. It always ends like this. In this hurtful manner. Why can't we just have a nice and normal conversation. Where we talk and discuss what is going on with our days. i have been busy and lots has gone on. I want to tell you these things and then I get shut down. Is it simply to much to ask for a normal and pleasant conversation?

you expect all these things from me. I do my best to give. Its a matter of what you want me to give up. The very thing that I gave up for someone else. I know I cannot do this, this time. And yet you persist. Its all my fault because I am the one who lives far away. I am the one who is going to be moving and getting an education. Funny how school wasn't a problem until now, now that I won't be living in the same city. Nothing was a problem and suddenly everything is. I am a waste of time. According to your friends. Why is it that everything is my fault? Because i cannot give up everything of mine and just be content in living with you and doing nothing else. the same traits you love about me are the same traits I would lose in that juncture. I cannot be that girl, the girl who moves in with someone and gives it all up. I did that in my last relationship and well, we all know how well that turned out. Majority of my blog is made up of feelings from that experience. I sacrifice a...

The memoirs of a damaged girl. I sit and write contented that my story will get out. The damage and sad and the victories. All of it on 81/2 by 11 lined. As I write I think of the people who will read and see, See my thoughts and feelings. To these people I am naked. My actions, sentiments are bare for these special few. enjoy it as I don't open up to many.

My heart is strained, tangled, twisted and torn. Its strained because I live in two worlds. The world of my head and the world of my heart. Nor shall the two meet. I love the dream, the simplicity of the golden lights and opulent heights of imagination, then there is the real crisp and fresh of the real world. Its like a cavern that i am straddling. To chose a side is murderous to my reality. I like my bubble and my two worlds. Thus I stretch. I twist, tangle and tear at my heart.

I swim in cool waters, I feel the sadness come over me as I sink. I would come back up for air if it didn't hurt so much. the feeling of my heart hurts more than my lungs. They ache and want to explode, and yet it pales in comparison to my aching and torn heart. My mind screams and tells me to swim and to fight, and yet my heart says this is better. I continue to sink and see my final seconds coming to an end. I look up and see an angel, A beautiful and wonderous angel reaching for me. He takes me in his arms and brings me to the surface. He breathes for me and I come alive again. My angel and saving grace. He brought me back to life, I wonder if he can heal my heart. He looks at me and tells me, bringing you to life is the easy part, willing you to live and healing you is the challenge.

I try to elicit a response from you, majority of the time I get nothing. I am angry about this, disappointed to say the least. You don't communicate. How am I supposed to know what you think, what you feel and what you want? I am not psychic and I do not wish to guess all the time. There are certain things that cannot be said and I get that, but give me something. Anything. I am a very clear communicator. I don't hide how I feel for the most part. You are lying to yourself if you think that I know where your heart lies. You are lying to me. That much is evident. When I talk to you about these things it irrupts into a violent spill of words coming from you. Is that all you have? Violent and angry words for me? I illicit a response from you and for once I get something. Negativity courses through your veins. What am I to do when this stifles me. I try to speak to you, but all you seem to hear is your words. Then the end of the conversation is exclaimed by the dial tone I hear. So...

speak to me in ways I cannot fathom, tell me with your movement that you want me. Close my eyes and see. Swaying with the melody of your silent revelry I am mesmerized by the swing and the sound the drum and the beat pick up and I move instinctually. Its more than just flow and thought. Transitory and fluid. Just do. Surround me in your warmth. your heat and your fire. Tell me your lustful thoughts and sway in conjunction with me. Touch me and torment yourself, Satiate your will and focus on the sway of things. Visit and revisit our unity. For now is the time to get lost in it. Lost in singularity and in unity. a moment where time stands still and yet speeds up around us. Freeze the fire and passion. Free from the oppression of expectation.

Wicked and deceitful. Trust is something earned. Lost in me is the will to care of your wrong doings. You accomplished them all on your own. your problem not mine. Unforgiving, sure I can be. Earning my forgiveness is attaining the unattainable for me. maybe you will, maybe you will not. Cold and hard is what you see. For that is all that I will allow. Fight to climb the walls I build and I will build them higher. Quick, brick by brick. Break down my walls and be prepared for a fight. I will be ready for your ignorance. Wrong doings won't go unpunished. I will see to it. So will you. You will see just how ruthless and malevolent I can be if you push me. Back me in the corner like a wild dog and I will attack. Quick, brick by brick by brick. Seal me in and shut you out. Distance and security imposed. Walls enclose the unattainable. Fortress of solitude, Yes that is where I dwell. Forgiveness, ha. We will see. Brick by brick by brick

flow out of me, pour out my convictions with script. For i am a survivor of your will. My thoughts are convoluted and with you you bring me peace. Order amidst the chaos. Focusing takes all my might, and yet the clarity and thoughtless process of writing is effortless. I seek and I search and I find tranquility in my pen. My heart and my mind sync. Pour out of me and see, that I am at the mercy of free flowing syntax. a conduit of the present thought. i am an artist of different genres, Theatre, Visual and Musical art and yet my free form is words. My skill and feeling comes through in my poetry.

Violet and alabaster. Laid out for all to see. Cold and silent, the air circulates. Movement is lacking. Surreal. Vacant she is dressed beautifully. Ivory and pearl draped around her still form. Crimson lips bring life to the pale facade. Seal them shut for they boast no breath. Her eyes, Emerald in colour have seen their last dawn. The sun has set upon her. Cloaked forever in the shadow of her memory. Hollowed and still her shell lies. Her final destination is dark and still. The neighborhood welcomes her with a clammy embrace. tears and roses follow her to her new home. She joins the world. What we bury is a body. She has past her expiration date and has moved on. Her casket and tombstone are reminders to her family and friends. Lest we forget her, she lives in memory. For no rhyme or reason we enter this world, and for no rhyme or reason we leave it.

Dark pieces fit in the puzzle, Dark minds process the dark patterns. Nothing light about this situation. Within the minds eye, things twist and contort. Varieties of gray and dark lights. Stirring in the shadows, Lurking and persisting it reaches out, for a hand, for some semblance of being. It reaches out because it can. For everything it touches turns to ash. corporeal hatred and smite. life withers and decays in its presence. It grows weary and desolate. Sadness breaks its surface, How lonely and cruel to be unable to touch. Yet it is content at the destruction it causes. The body count just adds to its anger. Smiling at its human wreckage it decimates more. It has purpose. Laughter in the midst of a dark storm. Darkness is complete. If only light were as wanton with its freedoms.

Beautiful baby boy, You went away. Disappeared from my eye. From everyone who loves you. You ceased to be in an instant. An angel hangs on a door and I cannot feel. All I want to feel is remorse and yet, I feel conviction and strength well up in me. It is accompanied by the strange sense of guilt. What could I have done? The answer is nothing, I did all I could do, Not that I feel that, that was enough, Yet here I am. Hollowed. Baby boy you have left me, and with you went my heart.

Its a new day with new sentiment. The past is gone. You may think that I will regret those decisions, but I don't. They brought me to where I am and I am content in that. Many people think that the choices I have made have put me in a bad way, and yet I wouldn't have had it any other way. I have learned too much that I wouldn't have. Its a matter of perspective. A lemon is sour and yet with the right thought, can be turned into lemonade. I don't need to focus on the sad parts that I have experienced, more that i am experiencing life, isn't that what this is about. To experience and feel. I am feeling everything and I am unafraid.

How lovely it is to feel elated. I am dreaming lofty dreams and reaching the highest heights, they seem within my grasp. I smile and I know that I can do it. Whatever it is I set my mind to, I can accomplish it.

Intricate colours paint a beautiful picture, A picture of a life, dream and a hope of all things. Its a complex portrait, a portrait of a woman. Her fair skin, her delicate features. Poised for her painter she shows more than she lets on. She wears her emotions like fabric on her skin. Her lips are rose petals and her hair shines of the sunlight. She stuns us all with her grace. She looks out unto the world and sees dark, Her lovely almond shaped eyes adjust to the lack of light. The painter adjusts with her. He captures her on his canvas. Every inch, every emotion is there for all to see. Bare to the world we came into. Bare to the world she shows us what we really are. Human. Beautiful and flawed as the day we entered the world. As we will leave it.

I sing and soar, free as a bird in the clouds. Weightless and Gliding within lofty heights. Stars are angels to me, they visit me from time to time. I seek and search the navy blue skies, for my light house, for my beacon. I search because you bring me down to earth. Keep me level and grounded. and when I need to, you help me fly.

beautiful day, I awake and see the sky. I lay on a bed of mossy green. Soft and plush is what I arise from. The spring dew awakens me with a peaceful shower. The scent of lily and jasmine is prominent on my lips. I can almost taste it on my tongue. Daisies greet my vacant stare. They offer themselves to me to garnish my flowing hair. Sunlight peeks through the still trees, A young deer prances off to greener pastures. my lily white linens drape off of me as if they wish to remain on the mossy green carpet, I stand and I gaze outward. Persephone has graced me with a beauty that I cannot even express. I hear the sparrows greet the day with their song. It is a beautiful day with such prospect. Everything is growing around and rising with the sun, None can see the beauty and wonder that grows within me.

I hear sounds of you, echoing down my halls. I cannot escape these thoughts... I see on these vacant walls. I am in love this is true, He is away by fire light. I ache and writhe in pain, Not to get to attached is a fight. I rise like the tide, and feel this fire inside of me. it comes forth and springs anew, leaving me breathless and happy.

Sunny walls greet me, Their glow makes me feel at home. Angular walls shade this safe place with velvety orange hues. I breathe and feel the safety of my space. Soft and soothing draped with colours of my youth. I lie down. A sweet smell of home and lavender reach me. Tranquility seeps through every billowy fabric. I close my eyes and yet I can see everything, The pristine forest green accents, to the pictures of my sister. It all screams home and importance to me. My dreams live here. They echo my plans for reality. my room, reflects who I am. For it is whimsical and dreamy. It is warm and technicolour. Vibrant and bold, yet very calming. My safe haven.

How joyous I am, I can't help but smile. I have my life ahead of me. Nothing but a positive attitude. Miles to go kid, and yet I am happy I have an adventure ahead of me. So full of Joy I could float away. Love lift me and let the butterflies take me down my road of self discovery. How quaint and beautiful. Outside may be cold and dreary yet I do not see it. I see the sun and the summer fast approaching. All the possibilities that come with it. To see the horizon of all that is to come. I will not wish this time away, I will merely enjoy that it is moving slowly for a change. Claim the pace and seek the prize of my joy. Smile, the future is mine and yours for the taking.

There are moments, Moments where I cannot help but think of you. A funny smile comes across my face. I think of being at home with you, how peaceful and sweet. I am in bliss merely spending time. Its all about baby steps... and well I want to sprint and so do you, but that isn't possible at the moment. There are things that both of us need to do. For once I am ok with taking the time. Its funny how things work. Its all fortuitous that things happened the way they did. That dare to be inspired situation, turned into dare to find your soulmate... Not sure if this is the truth or not, but it will be fun finding out.

I think of you and laugh, Tears streaming down my face. I laugh for the joy you cause me is overwhelming. ying to my yang, we are quite the pair. I dream of the what this could possibly mean. Doing the random and fun things we do You make me smile and become quite the girlie-girl. It really is ridiculous. You think its endearing, I am not so sure...