random thoughts... an exercise after an upseting conversation... don't know how long this has been saved on my blog

you expect all these things from me.
I do my best to give.
Its a matter of what you want me to give up.
The very thing that I gave up for someone else.
I know I cannot do this, this time.
And yet you persist.
Its all my fault because I am the one who lives far away.
I am the one who is going to be moving and getting an education.
Funny how school wasn't a problem until now,
now that I won't be living in the same city.
Nothing was a problem and suddenly everything is.
I am a waste of time.
According to your friends.
Why is it that everything is my fault?
Because i cannot give up everything of mine and just be content in living with you and doing nothing else.
the same traits you love about me are the same traits I would lose in that juncture.
I cannot be that girl,
the girl who moves in with someone and gives it all up.
I did that in my last relationship and well, we all know how well that turned out.
Majority of my blog is made up of feelings from that experience.
I sacrifice and you ask for more and I cannot and will not sacrifice the very last thing I have.
you may wonder what it is I sacrifice, and that is simple.
I sacrifice my time, energy, my car, friendships and yes even family for you.
Its not enough, you want the last thing I have to give:
Myself.

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