My life or something like it

I have never been shy about the things that make my life or break it. Call me liberal or a snowflake in my resolve but I am an extrovert and put things out there... or rather I used to. It has been awhile since I have put anything out there so this feels like a giant leap for me. My world has changed in a pivotal way. I had children. Yes, anyone reading this is going to say "oh here she is about to wax poetic about the joys of motherhood" but that is not where I am going with this. Fundamentally I changed. I changed in a big way. motherhood does that but more so I found myself. I found my strength and realized I could accomplish more than I gave myself credit for. I am motherfucking SheRah and all that is womanly, while at the same time still being me. How did this come to pass? Was it a simultaneous thing or was it a slow transition? I cannot really say. What I can say is that I found myself. In a dark time in my life, I found me and have never looked back. The frustration I see on people's faces when they thought they had me figured only to go back to the drawing board, no doubt is why some people have distanced themselves.

Tonight I had a chat with my mother in law about how I have changed and that she thinks a lot of people blame the family dynamic I find myself in to be the root of that change, however, this is not the case. What is now apparent has always been there. She and I firmly believe that some people just didn't know me. Maybe that is my fault because I never really allowed people to see the real me, maybe I just didn't have the gall to say what was really on my mind, but I sure as hell do now.

I have never been shy, it was never about shyness but more so how I just didn't know me yet and come to terms with that. Now that I do I am unrelenting with who I am and how I raise my family. Doug gets it, he would have to in order to tolerate living with me (I say that like it is a burden but he would argue that it is no burden at all lol) There is strength in knowing one's self and I have found it.

So this is me... I am a badass and I am not going to apologize for art.

So get ready blog... this is about to get real.

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