Rage


It hits me like a sack of bricks sometimes. You know the type, you are going about your day, enjoying the little things, and then, out of nowhere someone shows up who just pisses all over your day like you are the reason everything has ever gone wrong in their lives and they just do it to cut you down and not only you but your children. I ran into this today. I was infuriated and it made me connect to the fact that I have been angry, angrier than I should be for some time now.

I have been surviving a lot of narcissistic personalities, where it is always me who is the one that is hurting, ostracizing or being the villain. These people will never take responsibility for their actions, nor should I expect them to. It is such a weird state to live in and yet, they are out there. I made a couple of calls this week, not because I was obligated but because I felt the need to reach out to people that I had a genuine concern for and the response was simply, thank you for your call, but you have been a terrible person to me and what you have done is awful and you should be ashamed. I ended the call right then and there like a normal person but here's the thing that I have learned, they are entitled to their opinion, they are not entitled to my sentiment, nor are they entitled to an apology from me for their perceived misgivings. I do not owe anyone anything... except my kids, I feel that what I owe them is to be a good mother and teaching them about the world... but anyone else... can get fucked.

I am not responsible for anyone else's drama, nor am I responsible for fixing them. I control what I do and to a lesser extent what my kids do, although let's be honest, they are somewhat feral and nothing really keeps them in line these days.

I am here to listen, but I am not here to take your abuse.

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