Fran

 More recently I suffered a loss. It was distant to me as this person is someone I hadn't seen for quite some time, however, I felt it. I felt it wash over me and felt the sadness knowing that the tomorrow will carry on and she will remain. It resonated with me that her children have to go on without her as that is something I have been struggling with, having it loom. I also remembered her as she was to me, funny, kind, mom to all. Someone who wanted to know you and took great care to get the right gift or to make sure they were understood. Someone who laughed and wanted to play a game or too just for some fun. She was also a person who liked to crack a few jokes and then laugh at herself when she was unintentionally funnier than she herself had anticipated. 

This loss was a hard one. Now, I have been removed from being her daughter-in-law for 13 years and yet, she was once family. I cared for her and that feeling does not dissipate just because you are no longer tied to her son. Admittedly, her son and I have talked through the course of the last few months in dealing with ailing parents, but that is because shared experiences allow us to find some common ground. but more so I see myself reflecting on the quiet moments with Fran and the times that it was just her and I. She was always so warm and inviting in contrast to John's gruff exterior (even though he too is a big softy) She was fun, and always wanted to celebrate the little things. Narry an event was missed. I remember she spent time looking for some books for me. She knew I loved to read and bought me 4 books for a birthday. I still have them. I remember there was a time I was looking for a special movie, a movie that really spoke to me and how we deal with grief... funny that, She found it and gave it to me. No one understood the significance but that was the Christmas that I cried at that gift because she took the time to listen. In a time where I didn't think many people did, she did... the special stuffing for thanksgiving dinner, or even the little moments with her family. She was always playing host and did it with the utmost grace. 

It made me think about the impact we have on each other and the legacies we leave behind when our time inevitably comes. She made me realize that the choices we make to care and to listen are important as that small little step can make all the difference in someone else's life. waves can reach pretty far if you let them and those acts while seemingly small, matter. I will also never forget the merciless mockery that came from silly mix-ups and of course... burning the damn garlic bread. 

 The one thing that is hard to fathom is that the world has lost her smile. She always wore a smile on her face and it was rare to see her without one. I hope that if anything sticks, it would be to smile regardless of circumstance. I hope that her family knows that her impact was greater than imagined. 

be at peace Fran, you lived, you loved and you were loved in return.



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